Can you tell? Can you tell that I have a son that I love? Can you tell that I have a husband that I love? Can you tell that I love them both more and more each day?
But can you tell that I'm happy? Truly happy? Happy that I have a son and a husband who make me whole, but also happy that I am whole. Happy by myself. Sitting at my favorite coffee shop writing my thoughts all by myself and feeling content. Not "needing" anything, not "searching" for anyone, not "crying" inwardly while trying to smile outwardly. Can you tell that my smile now isn't forced? Can you tell that I just want to smile?
This is an entirely new feeling for me. I've been happy before but never a happy mom and a happy wife and a happy person all at the same time. It's a really great feeling. I am starting to feel normal in my new role. In one of my posts from last year that you can see here, I decided that I didn't want to be normal as I thought here, I want to be amazing. And Bronson has helped to make me feel amazing. Whether other people think that or not is besides the point! It is crazy how a small 10 pound 3 month old little boy can have such a huge impact, but he has. He will move mountains as he grows.
I'm still growing into my new life as I now know it. Still trying to decide how many hats I wear and how many I can wear at the same time. I'm a lover of Jesus, a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, business owner and all of these make me a new woman. The woman that I have now become still deserves some time to develop and grow and learn how to accomplish this day to day life. And I know that many women out there struggle with this. Whether a wife or a girlfriend, a mom to a boy or girl or a mom to a dog or cat ... we all have so many different roles that we try to fill. I'm working on something that will help us to remember and work on our layers of womanhood. I pray that this can be something that I can share soon and can't wait to connect the dots between all the ideas going on in my mind!
For now, relish being a woman and take some time to grab your favorite drink (iced hazelnut non fat coffee), take a sip and just be happy. If only for a moment.